The Leaving Sign Season Five Spoilers
by blueaeryn1
Summary: Based on season five spoilers through 5x17. Peyton finally takes charge of her life. Does that include leaving One Tree Hill?
1. Chapter 1

His words kept replaying in her mind like one of her old vinyl records when it got stuck in a certain groove and kept replaying the same refrain over and over

His words kept replaying in her mind like one of her old vinyl records when it got stuck in a certain groove and kept replaying the same refrain over and over. I hate you, he had said to her. I wish you had never come back.

"Oh god," she whispered as she leaned her head against the steering wheel of her black Mercury Comet. Her damn Comet.

When had it all gotten so bad? Four years ago, the world was at their feet. Now, she was a slave to her warring emotions and in love with a man who blamed her for all the wrongs in his life.

Peyton Sawyer had returned to Tree Hill to find herself and to face her past. She had faced a fork in the road three years ago, and told the boy she loved, who was quickly becoming a man, that she would marry him someday. How could she have known that one word would cause her life to follow the path she was on now?

She could do two things right now. She could continue to sit in her car and cry like the pathetic young woman she had become, or she could finally take charge of her life. Swiping a tear from her check, Peyton took a deep breath and decided to do the latter.

Reaching for the door handle, she opened her car door. The heavy metal squeaked as she opened it and stepped onto the soft ground beneath. She quickly entered the house she shared with her best friend in the world, Brooke Davis, and made her way to the bedroom.

Peyton pulled out her suitcase and began to pack. She would join Mia on tour for a bit and check out some live acts along the way. It was time she quit placing her life in a holding pattern. She had a record label to build and she was finally going to do something about it.

The zipper on her suitcase had just locked into place when Peyton heard a noise behind her. She turned to see Brooke standing in the entranceway.

"Going somewhere," Brooke said with a questioning gaze.

"I thought you were still at the hospital," Peyton asked. She felt bad leaving Brooke when the baby she had been caring for, Angie, was recovering from heart surgery, but she hoped her friend would understand.

"Angie is doing better so I came home to change clothes," Brooke said as she walked into the room. "So, like I said, going somewhere."

"That is great Brook," Peyton told her ignoring Brooke's question. She reached for Brooke and pulled her to her for a quick hug.

"Peyton?" Brooke gave her an exasperated look.

"I am joining Mia on tour for a bit," Peyton finally said. "I need a break from here. From all of this." She waved her hands as if encompassing all that made up her hometown of Tree Hill.

"What did he do?" Brooke knew Peyton's rash decision had something to do with Lucas Scott.

"It's not about Lucas, okay?" Peyton's attempt at a lie fell on Brooke's deaf ears.

"Right," Brooke said. She grabbed Peyton's suitcase off the bed and set it to the floor. Brooke sat down on the bed and patted the spot beside her. "Now, spill."

Peyton complied and sat slowly on the bed. She tried to hold back the tears as she told her about taking Lucas home after she found him drunk at Tric. She had tucked him and was leaving his home when he said the words that wounded her more then any dagger or bullet wound.

"Oh, Peyton." Brooke hugged her. "He didn't mean it."

"Yeah, I think he did," Peyton said as she pulled from Brooke's grasp. "And I can stay here and see the hate in his eyes, knowing how much I love him, or I can leave for a while and find the person I used to be, the one that was strong and confident and not waiting for Lucas Scott to love me."

"Peyton," her named trailed off on Brooke's lips. Brooke watched her best friend leave her side and pick up her suitcase.

"I'll call you later, Brooke, to check on Angie." She leaned down and kissed Brooke's cheek. "Be good B. Davis."

"You too P. Sawyer," Brooke shot back. She watched Peyton straighten her shoulders and walk out her bedroom door.

Brooke waited all of two seconds after Peyton left to gather her things, change clothes, and rush back out of her house. She got in her car and went to see the one person who could make all this right.


	2. Chapter 2

There was a loud pounding in his head

There was a loud pounding in his head. Lucas Scott groaned and rolled onto his back. He pressed his palm to his forehead to stop the ache, but the pounding wouldn't stop. It wasn't until he heard a shrilling voice yell "Lucas" that he realized the pounding wasn't as much his head but someone beating on his door.

"Just a minute," he ground out, hoping it would stop the person from yelling so loud. He rolled off the bed and put his feet on the floor. Fighting off a wave of nausea and dizziness he slowly stood and waited for him self to balance properly. Taking a deep breath, he walked to the door. Luckily he was still dressed in the clothes he had on last night, so he didn't have to worry about slipping on clothes.

Opening the door, he let the sunlight poor into his room and the bright light seemed to bore a hole into his aching head. Closing his eyes to block out the sun, he shook his head and then focused on the figure before him. It was Brooke, dressed in her finest.

"Morning, Brooke," he said in a slur as he rubbed his face with his hands. "What brings you over?"

Brooke turned and looked at him, her stare shooting daggers at him. Uh, oh, she was on the war path. What was going on? Should he ask? Did he want to know?

"You want to know why I am here?" The question was more rhetorical then anything else. "You really want to know?"

"I asked didn't I?" Lucas was getting testy, but Brooke did barge in his house and start her subtle attack.

"Peyton is gone you jack ass," Brooke huffed. "Of all the things you could have said to her and everything you have done, that hurt her the most."

"Woo," Lucas put up his hands. "I didn't say anything to Peyton."

"Oh really?" Brooke put her hands on her hips. "So you are standing there in the clothes your wore last night and telling me you didn't tell her you hated her?"

"What?" Lucas was confused. He would never tell Peyton he hated her. He could never hate Peyton. He …. Lucas let his thoughts stop. He couldn't still? Not after everything? Not after almost getting married.

"So, you don't remember telling her you hated her and that you wished she hadn't come back to Tree Hill?" Brooke's eyes were blazing with anger.

Lucas knew Brooke and Peyton were each other's champion and today it was Brooke's turn to be Peyton's.

"No," he whispered. "I would never say that."

"Well, never is here, buddy," Brooke said seething. "After all you put her through you do that."

"Me," he was getting just a little mad. "She tells me no when I propose then she comes back and jacks up my wedding."

"First," Brooke said holding up a solitary finger. "She said someday. Get that in your head. Second, Peyton was a loyal friend to you and even sat in the second pew at your wedding and was prepared to watch the love of her life marry another woman."

Lucas said nothing. Just stood there.

"Oh, and I know about the kiss in her office."

Lucas sent Brooke a shocked expression.

"We tell each other everything," Brooke told him. "Everything," she stressed.

Lucas closed his eyes. Darkness enveloped him and he began to remember.


	3. Chapter 3

It was one of those days that blindsided you

It was one of those days that blindsided you. Lucas sat in his office prior to the Ravens basketball game when the phone rang. Absently, he picked up the receiver and said hello.

"Lucas," a feminine voice replied. "It's Lindsey."

It was Lindsey. His heart skipped a beat. Maybe she had finally come to her senses and was taking him back. How many more times did he have to declare his love for her, his longing to spend the rest of his life with her, to continue to assure her his damn book wasn't about Peyton or her car.

"Lindsey," he said quickly. "I am glad you called. When can I come see you?"

"You can't," she quickly answered. "Lucas, this call isn't about us. In fact, there isn't an us."

Lucas gripped the receiver. Here we go again, he thought.

"I just called to tell you I gave a copy of your manuscript to Peyton."

"What?" He practically screamed into the phone. "What the hell, Lindsey."

"She needed to see it, Luke." Lindsey informed him. "I told her to give me her honest opinion about the book, about what she thought. And if she liked it I would publish it, and if not, then I won't."

"You have got to be kidding me," Lucas said in a heated tone. "Lindsey that is ridiculous."

"This is the second book you have written about her, Lucas." Lindsey's voice was a drastic contrast to Lucas. She was calm and calculating in her enunciation and delivery, choosing her words carefully and with concise precision.

"I am going to say this one more time." Lucas didn't choose his words carefully. They poured out of his mouth like venom. "The book is not about Peyton. Damn it Lindsey."

"I don't want to start this, Lucas." Lindsey answered. "When I hear from Peyton, I will let you know my decision regarding the book. Goodbye Lucas."

"Lindsey, wait," Lucas said but the line had already gone dead.

Lucas slammed the receiver down, and then waved his hand across his desk sending photos, pencils and the phone flying to the floor.

After that the day seemed to go from bad to worse for Lucas Scott. His Ravens basketball team seemed lost on the court and the referee calls weren't helping. His players were being held all over the court but it was never called. Yet, when one of his players barely breathed on their opponent, the whistle blew.

Finally, Lucas couldn't take it anymore. The frustration from Lindsey's phone call and the poor play of his team, caught up with him. When a ref came near ear shot, he started to let him have it. He complained about calls, about the flow of the game and questioned the refs ability to see. "This is fucking ridiculous," he let slip out, and regretted it the moment the words came out.

Lucas watched the refs eyes grow large and he heard the shrill of a whistle. The portly ref with who was almost bald, lifted up his hands and formed a T. Yep, Lucas had just gotten a technical. But the ref wasn't finished. "You're outta' here." He pointed his finger to the locker room.

"What, that is bullshit." Lucas threw his clip board. "You can't do this."

"I just did." The ref pointed to the exit again.

"Come on, man." Lucas heard Nathan say. "Just go to the locker room. I got this."

Lucas shook his head and bit his lip. He turned and stalked off toward the locker room. He looked up in the stands and saw the shocked expression on Haley's face and the confused face of his nephew Jamie.

As he was just about to leave the gym, he looked to the stands one last time and saw Peyton sitting in the top row of the bleachers, folded into the corner.

"It's always going to be there isn't it? Us," a distant voice from his past replayed in his mind. Was it always going to be there? Was Peyton always going to be there? He barely offered her a glance and stalked off.

Lucas didn't wait for the game to end or for the team to return. He picked up his duffle bag and stormed out of the gym. He needed a drink.

Lucas didn't know how long he had sat on the bar stool at Tric, or how many shots he had taken. At the moment he was downing a glass of beer. His head was swimming and he felt like his whole body was numb. It still didn't take away the sting, or the feeling of loss.

"Lucas," a familiar voice said. He turned to see the object of his teenage desires. The elusive Peyton Sawyer stood before him. She was a varying contrast from the teenage girl he lusted after.

He could still feel the rush of excitement when Keith had given him the work order to pick up an old black Mercury Comet broken down on River Road. Only one person in Tree Hill drove a car like that, Peyton Sawyer. Her car breaking down was the best news he had received all year, even better then getting asked to play for the Ravens.

Teenage dreams for the blonde beauty turned into lust and wanting, and soon he discovered the soul beneath the package. The poet inside Lucas Scott bonded with the artist's soul that was inside Peyton. They were each other's muse and for a time Lucas thought they were meant to be together forever.

But Peyton proved to be that fleeting dream that you hold on to for a time but soon slips through your fingers. Peyton was his dream but the trouble with dreams is that reality has a way of crashing that façade.

But she wasn't a dream at the moment. The teenage Peyton gave way to the woman standing before him. The young woman who had picked up the pieces of her disillusioned life in L.A. and made a life in Tree Hill, to creating art by making other people's dreams come true.

Lucas always knew there was greatness in Peyton. Maybe that is why he walked out of that hotel room when she said "someday" to his proposal. Lucas was unsure of his chances at greatness, but he knew Peyton was headed there, and in the end, he couldn't let his love for her, his need for her to be with him, to stop her from being the person she was meant to be.

"Lucas, are you alright?" Peyton moved closer to him She laid her long slender finger tips on his shoulder. "I am worried about you."

Lucas' breathing quickened. Peyton's deep green eyes looked him over. My god, she was beautiful. And for a time, she had been his. But he loved Lindsey, right? Lucas took his hands off of his bottle of beer and rubbed his face with his hands. What was wrong with him?

They were in Tric. Peyton's office was just across the room. It was in her office she kissed him. Told him she still loved him. Her kiss shocked him, but in so many ways, it was like going home. Like he had been lost for so many years, and that one touch of her lips to his, had been the compass he needed to bring him into the light. He got so wrapped up in it that he forgot himself.

"You still love me?" Peyton's eyes pleaded with him and he kissed her back. He pushed his fingers through her hair and he drunk in the smell of her. Lindsey, his hazy mind reminded him and he left Peyton telling her he had to speak to Lindsey.

Proposing to Lindsey was his out. His safety net, she was easy to be with and the all consuming passion and fire with Peyton didn't exhaust his mind and soul. He convinced himself he loved Lindsey and she was a good fit for him.

But now sitting at the bar at Tric he wondered if love and being in love were different?

"I love you, Luke, I do." Peyton had told him in her red bedroom.

"I love you too," he had told her.

"No, you don't understand," Peyton countered. "I am in love with you."

"I am in love with you," he heard her say again.

Lucas laid his head on the bar. He felt a tear slid down his cheek. How had his life gotten so fucked up?

"Come on, Lucas." Peyton took him by the arm. "Let's get you home."

Lucas let her lead him out of the club and they carefully navigated the steep stairs. He heard the loud creak of a door and he didn't have to open his eyes to know he was in her car. In the Comet.

He must have dozed off because the next thing he knew the car had stopped and he felt Peyton pulling on his arm again. He stumbled to the door and she took his keys to open the door.

Lucas staggered to his bed and fell onto it. He felt Peyton slid a blanket over him and kiss his cheek.

"I never wanted this for you, Lucas." Her voice was sad and hollow.

He had done this to her and he hated himself for it. "I hate you," he said about himself. "You ruined my life." He had ruined his life because of his fear of losing the one thing that gave him meaning, the one person who truly understood him. He had been fooling himself. He loved Lindsey but he was in love with Peyton Sawyer.

"Peyton," he said into the darkness but the door had already shut. She had left. Peyton he kept replaying in his mind until the booze overtook him and he faded off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

"I didn't mean it," Lucas said

"I didn't mean it," Lucas said. What he said all came back to him. He wasn't talking to Peyton, he was talking to himself.

"Well, tell that to Peyton, because it broke her heart even more then it already was." Brooke huffed. "You are a real piece of work."

"Uh," Lucas groaned in frustration. "I was talking about myself. I hate what I have become, who I am."

"Well," Brooke said as she bit her lip. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know." He sat back down on his rumpled bed and placed his forearms on his knees. "My life is so fucked up."

"It doesn't have to be." Brooke looked around the room. She walked to his desk and picked up Lucas' silver laptop. She plopped it on the bed beside Lucas.

"What?" He looked at the laptop.

"Read it," Brooked commanded. "Open up your novel and read it. Read what you wrote, then look deep down and you try to tell yourself it isn't about Peyton. I told Peyton months ago it was always about Lucas and Peyton."

"Brooke," Lucas pleaded. But she held her palm up to stop him.

"Even when we were together all those years ago we weren't truly together," Brooke confessed. "You loved me, I believed that. But your heart wasn't in it. You weren't in love with me, Lucas. You weren't IN LOVE with me."

"I love you Lucas," he heard Peyton say in his mind, standing beside the window in her bedroom looking knock-down gorgeous in that dress, a sad smile on her face. "I am in love with you."

Were they all right? Did Peyton still reside in his heart? Had he been in denial all this time?

Brooke saw the warring of emotions on Lucas' face. "Read it Luke. For all your sakes, just read it."

She turned on her red high heel and walked to the door. "And make the right decision. It would be a tragedy to miss spending the rest of your life with your soul mate." She opened the door and left, leaving Lucas sitting on the bed with his laptop in his hands and questions in his heart.


End file.
